Are you happy. Answer me. I am asking you something. Till now it seemed impossible to digest the fact that I even wanted this.
Just came back from an extensive training. One thing that makes these jobs more obnoxious is the way people treat you. There always has to be a way, a decorum to be maintained, show some respect, follow the orders. But what if that is wrong, what if there is more than one solution to a problem, more than one jigsaw to every puzzle. Have you ever thought of it. These thoughts can boggle your head, nonetheless I do.
Entering in your house after a long tour can be a bit of conundrum. I will tell you why. Even though you miss your home, the most daunting part is to put things in the way they were, right? Maybe. So to start with, cleaning was needed and let me assure you although I might seem a fan of cleanliness, it felt as if I can live without it (atleast now). But who is to be blamed. One part of your brain protests that thought.
Going through all those stuff, I felt a sudden pinch in dark. Something was not right, it was my finger. I had a thorn(exaggerating, a small straw maybe) that pierced through my finger’s skin. When you are covered in your dirt, dust and your own sweat, thankfully now blood too, it seems what possibly could else happen. In the next moment of all anguish and pain (being dramatic) I was carrying, I saw a pigeon in my balcony. So this ……….. had done this to me. I wanted to kill it. But wait isn’t that too much to ask.
So I went back, cleaned everything and slept (not that easy when you are far away from your bed for so long, that it forgets how you felt, or maybe you did.)
Next day was Sunday, so there was no rush to get up early. I felt lazy and a swollen finger in my body. I wanted to see what was there in my balcony. And there were more surprises. There were two pigeons, sick/hurt/terrified of me/angry/drenched in water(because of rain or maybe I threw some in night that I can’t remember). But no, these were not what I saw yesterday. They didn’t want to use much of my space and both of them settled in the corner. I didn’t mind either (Should I? I don’t know)
I went in and as a gesture of my apology, I brought some grains, rice and bread crumbs and kept as close as possible to them. After that I even forgot they existed, busy with my weekend.
Next day I saw no grains there. This means they accepted my apology, yet they didn’t move a centimetre. But why do I care, but as my usual routine (to be), I brought back some more grains. And then I got occupied with some work from my office. This followed a couple of days, where I being the good host tried to impress them, and they being the guest would get entertained.
That day I had to go to the office, I was getting late, I didn’t bother to say them goodbye. You know the food in offices are actually prepared for insects(or maybe with them, I don’t know). It would be better to feed them rather than us, I was laughing in my head. Seemed funny to me. I told my colleague that I would prepare my lunch, so I am going home.
It was hot walking only hundred metres made me sweat my whole body. But atleast I get to eat something I like, rather than being fed like rats. I was done in about half an hour, (Yes, I am good at it). It seemed I had saved time for myself. So I went back to have a look at my friends/companions. There were only two claws with a little skin peeling off, the other one was missing.
I shook from the inside. Is this what I wanted, to live alone. Nobody should use my property. I don’t need people/animal. Knowing that I could have possibly done something, leaves me with frustration. Where am I going, why do I want so much when I need so less. Why do I wish so much when I can give more than that. To think, I need the answers someday, that someday should come as soon as possible..